What an amazing journey it has been to receive our beautiful Rowan Kathryn Joy. She was much longed for and we are so grateful she is here and lovely and healthy and perfect. God is so faithful and so good. Here is her story...
Early in 2012 Kev and I both felt that we would want to have another baby that year, and in the spring we started trying. After one month of trying and not getting pregnant I was feeling discouraged and my friends came around me to pray. Angela prophesied and thanked the Lord for the baby girl I was going to have, and the next month we found out we were expecting again. Baby number 4 was due in February! After a few weeks of awful morning sickness, I experienced a miraculous relief from all sickness and enjoyed several months of feeling really good. This was such a blessing.
In spite of the joy of being pregnant, there was a negative situation that was underlying things. I am RH-, and after having Ruby Rose, I did not get a Rhogam shot. This is recommended to prevent my body from developing antibodies to the next baby I carry, and rejecting the pregnancy. I knew this going in and instead of telling everyone I was pregnant very early like I normally do, I felt a lot more cautious this time. It took me a really long time to announce this pregnancy, and even to feel confident that my body would not reject the baby.
At 20 weeks I got blood taken to test the antibodies in my blood and it was discovered that my body was developing antibodies to the baby. This resulted in monthly blood tests and weekly ultrasounds for the remainder of the pregnancy. It was also uncertain for a while as to whether or not I would be able to have a home birth. Although the antibodies continued to increase in my blood, the Lord protected our sweet baby and week after week our ultrasounds looked good. Around 36 weeks pregnant, it was looking good that we would have a home birth and we began to move forward with that plan.
We had initially thought we were having a girl, then wavered in the middle and then by the end Kev and I were both thinking it was a girl again. The whole pregnancy we never really had any names we loved or agreed on until the last month. Finally we were listening to a folk song with the kids and looking up the words. The song was called Merrie's wedding and one of the lines says she has "cheeks as bright as rowans are". Kev said, "What about Rowan?" and finally we had a girl name that we both liked :) Rowan means a red berry bush and the color red means power and annointing. Kathryn is after my mother and it means pure and then of course Joy. We had no boy names at all!
A few weeks before Rowan was born I was at a ladies prayer group and my friend Elbie had a vision for all the girls in the room. She saw the Lord giving us each a gift wrapped in silver on a silver platter. When she told me the gift the Lord had for me it was the gift of Joy. I laughed because I wondered if the Lord had just told me we were going to have a girl!
A few days later I was at a mom's group where a strong woman of God, Deb Wells, was prophesying over each of the moms. As soon as she put her hand on my head she said, "JOY!" and spoke all about the Joy inside of me and the Joy the baby will have and even said this baby would come out laughing. Now I was really laughing because it seemed really obvious that the Lord was naming this baby girl.
Finally, later that afternoon I was watching homebirth videos with the kids and there was a picture of the moment when the baby came out of the water and the mom put her to her chest. The caption underneath said "PURE JOY!". At this point we were pretty convinced it was a girl and the Lord had named her Joy. We were both so excited and grateful and couldn't wait to meet our baby girl!
The end of the pregnancy preparations felt a little hurried because we had been holding off preparing for a homebirth until we knew for sure we were able to have one, but God's timing was perfect and everything was in place by the time I went into labor, or at least shortly after ;)
Labor started on Sunday afternoon with mild contractions and continued Sunday night and Monday much the same. Monday night I went to get a Robby Cload massage and when I got home I was having lots of contractions, some 2-3 minutes apart. I called my midwives and my prayer team and everyone came over just in time for my labor to slow down and stop. After hours of people sleeping over and things picking up and then slowing down, it was time for them to go home. This same thing happened when I was in labor with Ruby, but it was really hard for me this time. I was just so excited to meet our baby and so disappointed that it wasn't time. Thankfully I had my sweet friends around me to comfort me and encourage me as I cried.
Tuesday I called my sister Jobe and she agreed to come down from Columbus to help with the kids, so I was able to labor in my room and have Kevin with me while she and my mom took care of everything else. It was such a relief. Tuesday night and Wednesday day my contractions were 15 minutes apart but lasting for a really long time, sometimes 4-6 minutes long. When I talked to my midwives they suggested we were having a position issue and gave me some exercises to do as well as things for Kevin to do to massage me. A few hours after we did these things, contractions started to get closer together and more intense. I had been laying down most of the night and day and now I wanted to be up. Kevin was speaking scripture over me and we were speaking to my body and worshipping the whole time. It was such a sweet day for us. Probably around 5 or 6 we started talking about calling people to come over again, but I really wanted to be sure. At some point I remember telling Kevin that my contractions were 4 minutes apart and 4 minutes long so I thought he should call Grace. The birth pool was ready and I really wanted to get in so once I was sure things were progressing I got in the pool and waited for my team.
My team consisted of my beautiful girlfriends Angela and Amy, my beautiful midwives Grace and Melanie and my beautiful sisters Chris and Jobe, my beautiful mom and of course my strong and amazing husband. I also had a sweet prayer team from my prayer group praying for me throughout my labor. Everyone had roles to play and it felt like people were working in a perfect symphony around me.
In other births I have been inward focused and had my eyes closed the whole time, but this time I really needed the support of my friends. I was experiencing a large amount of pain and it had been happening for so long I had gotten somewhat beat down and discouraged. I was feeling a little crazy and unsettled when my friends got there and Aim prayed so sweetly for me and cast out a bunch of fear and discouragement and trauma and unloving spirits. It definitely helped but I was also moving into transition and things were feeling more intense. This was the part where I said I didn't want to do this anymore and tried to get out of the tub. It was amazing because Grace had been sitting calmly on my bed but she pretty much took a flying leap over to me, grabbed my hands and told me to start saying "yes". Now as much as I did not want to do that, I have said "no" before in a labor and fought the entire thing and I knew that was a bad plan so I did what she said. I started saying "yes" and continued to do so for the next 20 minutes or so. The entire time Grace was holding my hands, looking in my eyes and speaking Truth and Life into me. This was when I finally felt my spirit settle down. At some point I also realized that I was in transition, there was a baby in my vagina instead of my stomach, and it was almost over.
There was a really funny moment when Melanie told Grace she thought she saw a foot and I thought my baby was breach but it was a false alarm.
At 9:28pm on Wednesday January 30th, Rowan Kathryn Joy Gilles was born, in the water, at home, surrounded by an open heaven and my truest loves. I felt the most tremendous sense of relief I have ever felt in my life, a huge rush of love and affection for my husband and just an overwhelming sense of JOY!
This labor was so intense I felt like I was in shock for hours afterward. A few hours after the birth Grace was asking me to say the baby's name and I couldn't remember what it was :-0
It wasn't until my midwife appointment the next day that I understood that Rowan had been born with a nuchal hand (her hand by her face), which made sense as to why the position had been somewhat off and why this labor had felt a lot harder than some of my others. In spite of the pain, I felt the Lord telling me during transition that there was something huge he was saving me from, even though I didn't know what it was and I believe Him.
A few days later I was meeting with my midwife Melanie and she was remarking on what a miracle it was that Rowan wasn't jaundiced at all. Apparently it is extremely common with the condition I had during pregnancy that even if we make it through the pregnancy, the baby will almost always need blood transfusions afterwards due to severe jaundice. Not Rowan! This girl is healthy and happy and full of the Joy of the Lord! Another miracle!
Rowan is now three weeks old and doing great. She couldn't be any sweeter and lovelier. She is adored by her big brothers and sister and we are all in awe of God's goodness.
What a wonderful birth! I'm so honored I could be apart of your prayer team :) welcome little Rowan we love you!
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